Before I Fell
Scarred but not broken
Before I fell
scarred but not broken
A Poem about a broken girls journey
Before I fell I used to love to run, run in the woods, and everywhere that I could. Before I fell I wore short shorts and skirts, I loved when the cold breeze would hit my bare legs, I wore bold colors ripped jeans, crop tops, I colored my hair with purple highlights because I thought it looked cool, my little world was perfect in my eyes but one evening everything changed. I took a shortcut through the woods so that I could get home quicker and that was where the monster found me. Why had I not fought? Why had I not protested? I let myself get taken advantage of because I was too weak to fight, why had I not fought? Had I not screamed, protested, and yelled I just froze and cried as the monster tore into me and ripped away from my sanity as I lay in the woods too stunned to move or process what had happened to me I knew that my life would never be the same again, my innocence long behind me I realized it was probably my fault, looking back I blame myself, maybe I should have dressed better, behaved better, I never should have taken that path that evening, now I fell safer behind my armor as I look at my reflection in the mirror pink fluffy slippers I reach up and feel my purple butterfly clip in my
hair I then look at my lite baby blue overall shorts with my yellow and white triangle shirt underneath. I dress like a child it’s what I think in my mind, it is what I see when I look in the mirror. I don’t look like a nineteen-year-old girl nor a woman, it is my armor I like the peace it brings me, it shoos the monsters away. I’ve grown to like the company of females because I love the peace they bring me but I wouldn’t cry if they were taken away from me, as I hold up my wrist to see what my concealer
has been hiding all along with scars thin, they’re not just scars they are demons I fought, late in the night, they are my insecurities. My fears my lonely hearts cry, they are the insults I give myself, my lonely hearts cry and the emotions that I couldn’t contain, they are a part of me, and what I am scarred this is me.
This is my reality because I feel insane in a sane world every day I heal a little more. I was scared but not broken. I just want to get back to a time before I fell.
We are so much more than our scars.
~d.j.
